Your daughter is asking about getting her first bra, and your son
comes home from soccer practice smelling like he's been digging on a
road crew all day. What's going on?
Welcome to puberty, the time when kids sprout up, fill out, and maybe even mouth off.
Puberty was awkward enough when
you were the one going through it. So how can you help your child through all the changes?
Stages of Puberty
Sure, most of us know the telltale signs of puberty — hair growth in
new places, menstruation, body odor, lower voice in boys, breast growth
in girls, etc. But we may not fully comprehend the science behind all of
these changes. Here's a quick look at how it works.
Usually after a girl's 8th birthday or after a boy turns 9 or 10,
puberty begins when an area of the brain called the hypothalamus starts
to release gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH). When GnRH travels to
the pituitary gland (a small gland under the brain that produces
hormones that control other glands throughout the body), it releases two
more puberty hormones — luteinizing hormone (LH) and
follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
What happens next depends on gender:
- Boys: Hormones travel through the bloodstream to
the testes (testicles) and give the signal to begin production of sperm
and the hormone testosterone.
- Girls: Hormones go to the ovaries (the two
oval-shaped organs that lie to the right and left of the uterus) and
trigger the maturation and release of eggs and the production of the
hormone estrogen, which matures a female's body and prepares her for
pregnancy.
At about the same time, the adrenal glands of both boys and girls
begin to produce a group of hormones called adrenal androgens. These
hormones stimulate the growth of pubic and underarm hair in both sexes.
For a Boy
The physical changes of puberty for a boy usually start with
enlargement of the testicles and sprouting of pubic hair, followed by a
growth spurt between ages 10 and 16 — on average 1 to 2 years later than
when girls start. His arms, legs, hands, and feet also grow faster than
the rest of his body. His body shape will begin to change as his
shoulders broaden and he gains weight and muscle.
A boy may become concerned if he notices tenderness or swelling under
his nipples. This temporary development of breast tissue is called
gynecomastia and it happens to about 50% of boys during puberty. But it
usually disappears within 6 months or so.
And that first
crack in the voice is a sign that his voice is changing and will become deeper.
Dark, coarse, curly hair will also sprout just above his penis and on
his scrotum, and later under his arms and in the beard area. His penis
and testes will get larger, and erections, which a boy begins
experiencing as an infant, will become more frequent. Ejaculation — the
release of sperm-containing semen — will also occur.
Many boys become concerned about their penis size. A boy may need
reassurance, particularly if he tends to be a later developer and he
compares himself with boys who are further along in puberty. If a boy is
circumcised, he may also have questions about the skin that covers the
tip of an uncircumcised penis.
For a Girl
Puberty generally starts earlier for girls, some time between 8 and
13 years of age. For most girls, the first evidence of puberty is breast
development, but it can be the growth of pubic hair. As her breasts
start to grow, a girl will initially have small, firm, tender lumps
(called buds) under one or both nipples; the breast tissue will get
larger and become less firm in texture over the next year or two. Dark,
coarse, curly hair will appear on her labia (the folds of skin
surrounding the vagina), and later, similar hair will begin growing
under her arms.
The first signs of puberty are followed 1 or 2 years later by a
noticeable growth spurt. Her body will begin to build up fat,
particularly in the breasts and around her hips and thighs, as she takes
on the contours of a woman. Her arms, legs, hands, and feet will also
get bigger.
The culminating event will be the arrival of menarche, her first
period
(menstruation). Depending on the age at which they begin their pubertal
development, girls may get their first period between the ages of 9 and
16.
For a Boy
The physical changes of puberty for a boy usually start with
enlargement of the testicles and sprouting of pubic hair, followed by a
growth spurt between ages 10 and 16 — on average 1 to 2 years later than
when girls start. His arms, legs, hands, and feet also grow faster than
the rest of his body. His body shape will begin to change as his
shoulders broaden and he gains weight and muscle.
A boy may become concerned if he notices tenderness or swelling under
his nipples. This temporary development of breast tissue is called
gynecomastia and it happens to about 50% of boys during puberty. But it
usually disappears within 6 months or so.
And that first
crack in the voice is a sign that his voice is changing and will become deeper.
Dark, coarse, curly hair will also sprout just above his penis and on
his scrotum, and later under his arms and in the beard area. His penis
and testes will get larger, and erections, which a boy begins
experiencing as an infant, will become more frequent. Ejaculation — the
release of sperm-containing semen — will also occur.
Many boys become concerned about their penis size. A boy may need
reassurance, particularly if he tends to be a later developer and he
compares himself with boys who are further along in puberty. If a boy is
circumcised, he may also have questions about the skin that covers the
tip of an uncircumcised penis.
For a Girl
Puberty generally starts earlier for girls, some time between 8 and
13 years of age. For most girls, the first evidence of puberty is breast
development, but it can be the growth of pubic hair. As her breasts
start to grow, a girl will initially have small, firm, tender lumps
(called buds) under one or both nipples; the breast tissue will get
larger and become less firm in texture over the next year or two. Dark,
coarse, curly hair will appear on her labia (the folds of skin
surrounding the vagina), and later, similar hair will begin growing
under her arms.
The first signs of puberty are followed 1 or 2 years later by a
noticeable growth spurt. Her body will begin to build up fat,
particularly in the breasts and around her hips and thighs, as she takes
on the contours of a woman. Her arms, legs, hands, and feet will also
get bigger.
The culminating event will be the arrival of menarche, her first
period
(menstruation). Depending on the age at which they begin their pubertal
development, girls may get their first period between the ages of 9 and
16.
Common Puberty Concerns
The physical changes kids experience as they move toward adulthood often are accompanied by
emotional consequences.
Some girls are excited about their budding breasts and new training
bras; others may worry that all eyes are focused on their breasts. Some
boys love the sight of themselves all lathered up with shaving cream;
others may be uncomfortable with the attention they get for a few new
shoots of hair.
Pimples are common for most teens.
Acne
is caused by glands in the skin that produce a natural oil called
sebum. Puberty hormones make the glands produce extra sebum, which can
clog the pores. Washing gently with water and mild soap can get rid of
excess sebum and help reduce breakouts.
Over-the-counter and prescription medications are available for more
severe cases of acne. Your family doctor can recommend a dermatologist
(a doctor specializing in skin) if basic skin care and OTC medications
don't keep acne under control.
Kids who once associated bath time with play need to learn to wash
regularly and to apply deodorant or antiperspirant. A teen who's
learning to use shave will need instructions on how to keep it clean, to
throw a disposable one away before it becomes dull and ineffective, and
to not share it with others.
Boys, capable of having erections since infancy, can now experience
ejaculation. The first ejaculation usually occurs between the ages of 11
and 15, either spontaneously in connection with sexual fantasies,
during masturbation, or as a nocturnal emission (also called a wet
dream). If he doesn't know about wet dreams before he has one, a boy may
think he has urinated accidentally or that something has gone wrong
with his body.
As kids mature physically and emotionally, they become increasingly
curious about their sexuality and their own bodies. Although infants and
younger children do touch their own genitals from time to time because
they like the way it feels, masturbation is more common in older kids,
from the preadolescent and teen years and beyond.
As far as the myths and beliefs about masturbation: No, it won't
cause kids to grow hair on their hands, become infertile, go blind, or
develop new emotional problems. A small number of kids and teens with
already existing
emotional problems may become preoccupied with masturbation — just as
they may become overly occupied with other behaviors or thoughts.
Constant or obsessive masturbation may be a sign of anxiety or other
emotional problem.
But, other than that, masturbation is generally considered by doctors
to be a common form of normal sexual self-exploration. Although some
preteens and teens may choose to masturbate, others may not.
Because masturbation is often considered a private topic, many kids
might feel too embarrassed to talk about it because they're concerned
that their parents will be angry or disappointed with them. Some kids
may prefer to talk to older siblings, friends, or their doctors rather
than a parent. If you continue to be concerned or have questions about
masturbation, consult your doctor.
Talking to Kids About Puberty
Boys and girls can see these changes happening to each other — in some cases, they can smell them. It's important to
talk to your child about how bodies change — sooner, rather than later.
Be prepared to talk to a girl about the expected events of puberty,
including menstruation, when you see the first signs of breast
development, or earlier if she seems ready or has questions. A boy
should know about normal penile development, erections, and nocturnal
emissions before age 12 — sooner, if he's an early developer. And it's
also important to talk to your child about what's happening to members
of the opposite sex.
It's best not to have "The Talk" as one grand summit but rather as a
series of talks, ideally beginning when your child is young and starting
to ask questions about body parts. Each time you talk, offer more and
more detail, depending upon your child's maturity level and interest in
the topic.
And, if your child has a question, answer it honestly. If you feel
uncomfortable, need answers to questions, or are uncertain about how to
have these talks with your child, ask your doctor for advice.
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: May 2010
